Nick Esposito is the candidate for today, the President that America Deserves^® .

His commitment is to you, the voter. Whoever you are, whatever you believe in, whatever you stand for -- Nick Esposito agrees with you 100%, and is willing to put that in writing (soon to be available in our LEECH store).

How can he do it?

He lies.

But unlike the "insider" candidates, he doesn't deny that he lies; he is forthright and open about lying, proud to mold himself in the in the tradition of our greatest leaders. And when he is elected to this great nation's highest office, he pledges to lie for you, and for America.

For those who feel that the Bush/Cheney team is not conservative enough:

Nick promises an America free of terrorism, free of taxes, and free of dissent. He vows an America in which we can be proud of our schools: clean, free of "junk science" that teaches such ignominious beliefs such as "evolution" and "natural laws," schools in which G-d Himself would be proud to beat up the A-V geeks.

Like you, Nick's guiding principles are that of our great Founding Fathers -- Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant, and Benjamin Franklin -- especially when they are unmarked.

Are you outraged at half-hearted leadership that's not running the deficit up fast enough? Are you angry at a court system which sentences Timothy McVeigh to death, but lets Barbra Streisand run free? Are you furious at a taxation system that forces you to support emergency services that you might not need at that particular moment?  Well, so is Nick Esposito.  He's pissed at everything.  And if elected on November 2^nd, he promises to be pissed at -- and for -- you.

For those who feel that the Kerry/Edwards team is not liberal enough:

One of the most troubling issues facing voters today is the existence of laws that prevent gay marriage.  Gays may be a minority, but in the mold of the Equal Opportunity Act, Nick feels that the only moral solution is in enacting laws that prohibit differences in treatment. Nick promises that not only will he permit gay marriages, he will require them -- even among heterosexuals.

There are those, too, in the liberal camp who believe that there are two Americas: one for the rich, and one for the poor.  Modern theoretical physics tells us that there are an infinite number of parallel Americas existing simultaneously on different planes. The solution is clear to those who have a committment to social equity: Under the Personal America^® program, Nick proposes enacting a law to create a huge, bloated entitlement program that will distribute an America for other groups: the middle-class, the differently-abled, the Wiccan sisterhood, those who feel that their dog is asking them to kill. Anybody.

Including you , the voter.